FBS Students

Praying With Your Teen

By Sam & Jimmie Davis

Sam and I have consistently prayed for both of our children all of their lives, but when Jordan was in middle school, I prayed with him every morning in the car on the way to school. I prayed out loud that God would give him the confidence he needed to make it through the day. When I first started, he was somewhat resistant, but as time went by, he warmed up to the idea, and even had some special requests.

When he was entering 10th grade we moved from a small private Christian school in Atlanta to a large public high school in Spartanburg where he only knew a few people. He was facing a new environment and a completely different culture. He was now old enough to drive to school, ending the prayer times in the car on the way. The first day I was anxious to hear how his day had gone. I met him at the front door with a cheery, “How was your first day at Dorman?” To my disappointment, his only answer was, “Terrible!” Everyday for the first two weeks, his answer was the same. Finally, one afternoon he stormed in the front door and blurted out in an accusatory voice, “I know why I am having terrible days at school, you are not praying for me anymore!”  

Of course, I was praying for him; just not praying with him. So every morning he would stand by the front door and wait on me to come and pray with him before he went out the door. I basically prayed for three things.

First of all, I prayed that God would protect his mind. I prayed that he would know truth and embrace it. Second, I prayed that God would protect his heart and keep his heart close to Him. I prayed he would not give his heart to things of the world. Last, I prayed that God would protect him physically. I prayed that God would keep him in the palm of His hand and protect him from making that fatal mistake that would alter the course of his life forever. I prayed for God to bless him in a way that he would know the blessing had to come from God.

Today, he and Stacy have been married for almost 14 years, they have four beautiful children, and they serve in ministry at First Baptist Spartanburg. God continues to answer our prayers faithfully for both of our grown children and their families. Maybe you pray for your children on a regular basis, but do you pray with them? It doesn’t have to be before school. You can pray before bedtime, before a meal, or anytime that works for you and your teen. There is a battle for their minds and hearts. Your prayers can beckon God to work in your teen’s life in a miraculous way. Your prayers with them can give them the confidence they need to live a life that is totally and completely pleasing to God.  

September 4th, 2022

Better Together

By Matt & Mollie Kuhn

One of the biggest fears of a parent is that they will look back and feel that they are unsuccessful in their parenting. To build a firm foundation for successful parenting, it is important for parents to be unified while raising their children. When thinking about being on the same page with your spouse, most parents have lots of questions. We want to address some of the questions that have been impactful for us in our parenting journey.

1. 1. How do you get on the same page?
   2. Know your spouse. As a married couple, you know a lot about your spouse. However, parenting brings a whole new dimension to your marriage. As you grow together in parenting, you will learn how you will handle situations together.
   3. Be willing to make mistakes. Know that you will not be the perfect parents. Apologizing to your children and to your spouse is important. Your child needs to know that you will make mistakes, and that is okay. A lot of parenting is learning through experience. You can read all the books about how to parent, but experience and time are the best teacher.
   4. You can’t parent on an island. Just like God didn’t intend for us to live life alone, He didn’t intend for us to parent alone either. It is important to ask for help and bounce ideas off “your people.” If you don’t have a group of people you can trust, seek them out. Ask God to provide you with a group of people who are also going through or have been through the parenting journey.
   5. What does unified parenting look like?
      1. Reflect on how you and your spouse were raised. You are likely to parent the way that your parents parented you. Talk about things your parents did to raise you that you want to keep in your parenting of your own children and talk about things you know you don’t want to do.
      2. When have discussions with your child, always back up your spouse in front of your child. This shows your kids that you respect each other. If you have a disagreement with your spouse, talk about it after the fact. You will disagree with your spouse, and if it is a child related topic, do not talk about it in front of your children.
      3. After you have a parenting experience together, debrief those experiences with your spouse, but also with your people. Talk about how you handled the situation and get advice about what you did well and what you want to work on. Be open to constructive criticism and use what you learn from this experience in the next experience.
   6. What are the results being unified in your parenting?
      1. It cultivates mutual respect between the parents and children. When parents are unified, the children know it and learn to respect the fact that they make decisions together. That way your children don’t always go to one parent.
      2. It models a healthy marriage. Parenting is teamwork and it is important to tell your kids that you parent as one. We have adopted the phrase “Mom and Dad need to talk about that together” when making decisions regarding our children.
      3. It helps build character in the children. When a couple is united in decisions, it helps the child build character instead of learning to manipulate the parents into getting what they want.

It is our hope that this brief post will be encouraging and helpful for any new or seasoned parent. It is always beneficial to be reminded of these ways to build your marriage and family so that your children can be set up for success. Remember that your children will always be your children, so you will always be parenting them. Being on a united front with your spouse will be important and necessary as you parent through life together.

March 19th, 2022